232: Blessings in disguise.

“If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself….then truth will not be withheld from you.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

A week ago I was very upset about having this job… to be honest. I resented the fact that I had to take something out of my field again, that I had to work 8-4 answering phones and making piles of paperwork. But I soon began to realize what I blessing in disguise this is. The above quote rattled through my head… “if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher” truth will not be withheld from you.

It is obvious that I have fallen pretty hard in the last month. Really hard. Rock bottom? You know, I don’t know… because every time I think I’m there I fall a little further. Regardless, I was feeling extremely hopeless and empty. A lot of self hatred brewing within. Beating myself down for being down, all those lovely things. So what did the universe do? It gave me a job at a company with extremely positive people. It gave me financial support in a poor economy and most of all it set me up for success. Yesterday my boss announced that a lovely member of the company had gifted her  very expensive 12-week program as a token of appreciation… and she would gladly share it with us.

What is this program about? Self image, acceptance and love… along with losing weight.

Yeah. Exactly what I need. So I am giving it a go with the hopes that I can learn to love myself again as well as focus on myself. It really is the hardest thing for me to learn. Who cares if the boyfriend is moody, the house is noisy or I can’t get a hold of a friend. I have me and I have lots of things that I can do. Things I WANT to do but complain I have no time for! Like reading  =)  Reading is an excellent way to forget troubles.

Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!