Adventures in Clothes Shopping

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I hate clothes shopping.  My attempts at clothes shopping usually goes something like this; go to the shops, look around, get depressed that there is nothing in my size that I like and come home again.  However, this time I had to buy something as none of my clothes, especially my jeans, fit me anymore.  They are hanging off me and I look like some ghetto kid, which may actually be the fashion these days, but isn’t entirely appropriate for the office.

So I steel my resolve and go to what is truly hell on earth - the mall. I find some men’s long sleeve shirts (I don’t venture into the women’s section, way too much pastel and frills for my liking) that look pretty good.  I am pleasantly surprised that I now fit into a men’s medium whereas before I was a large to extra large.  I also confuse the crap out of some guy on my way out of the dressing room as he is no longer sure whether this is the men’s or women’s dressing room and me telling him it was the men’s didn’t seem to help the matter.

Then I move onto buying jeans.  I used to fit into a men’s size 38.  I try on the 36’s but they are too big, however the 35’s crotch is way too small, who are these men that seem to have nothing between their waist and the top of their thighs?  The shop assistant then tries to get me to try on women’s jeans and in desperation I do so.  I am shocked that I seem to be a size 15 (US size 13) or in some styles a 16 (US size 14).  Before I moved onto buying men’s jeans I was around size 18 (US size 16) and that was a good 5 years ago.  The problem with women’s jeans is that the style is to have jeans fit really tightly around the thighs.  Who the hell designs these things?  I don’t know of any woman who is happy with the size of her thighs, so why on earth do we want to wear jeans that fit extra tight around them?  Fortunately the shop assistant goes and finds some men’s jeans in a different style where the 35s were designed for normal people and they fit perfectly.  I am so happy that I buy two pairs.

I also then buy some yoga style pants for Kung Fu from the women’s department, that’s right, I buy sporting clothes from the women’s section and they fit me.  Another first!

It is a very different experience buying clothing when you actually fit into clothes that you can find on the rack.  Now all I need is for stores to start stocking clothes I actually like and I might start enjoying the experience.