Wow!! That is all I have to say sometimes. The journey of life, let alone weight loss and maintenance, can be an eventful one for sure. So I have not been to WW for two months now. Basically, since my situation has been going on I have felt soooo bad about going to my WW meeting for some reason. Just didn’t want to face my leader or my fellow souls on the journey. But……..I finally did. I went to my damn WW meeting despite my feelings, hurt, weight gain, fear, etc. That is what I have to do right. I discovered tonight that a journey, which could be more important than the result, take much persistence. I will talk more about that in a sec.
So I went to my WW meeting even though I had fear but I was warmly welcomed by all. My wonderful leader hugged me happily, talked with me and comforted me greatly regarding what I am going through. I talked with people. Shared my journey again from 12 minutes of exercise three times a week to becoming an ultra-marathoner. I admit that the praise and love and kindness felt soooooooooooooooooo good. It was so nice to be with like minded people who feel the way I do on so many different levels. Although they don’t know my deep inside stuff, I knew that they had theirs inside themselves, and that was quite possible the reason they and I were there. To be with others who love and hate food. With others who want something better out of life, something more enjoyable. I was a wonderfully refreshing time for me and that alone will keep me going back. I had forgotten how good those people were over my two months leave of absence. So what was the result of my two month journey of depression, binge eating, emotional eating, and crying. HAHAHAHA Despite loads of pepperoni, donuts, candy, and other junk; I only gained about .5 lbs. The great thing is that I am still lifetime member there at WW. I am still within my range. WOW! Never would have guessed that that would happen. I was relieved be there again.
Now to the lesson learned. I can get real down on myself, life, work, and everything really. AND I MEAN REALLY DOWN. But, I never gave up. If I binged on AM/PM hamburgers and candy at night, well gosh dang it I tried like a son-of-a-gun to do good the next morning. Then at lunch. Then at break time. Etc. Etc Etc. Even though I was soooo freaking tired emotionally I still kept at my running. I still kept at my goals. I never let them out of my sight even for a day. I say day because I let them out of my sight for many moments. HAHAHA But not all day. I still got out of bed and went to work to be a productive human being. I still took out the garbage, talked with my mom and sisters, I have been talking more with others being more social, and never gave up. Even when I was hating my body and feeling like crap, I kept telling myself it is not over. It is not even a big deal. It is just part of all of this journey that I am on in life. Just part of it. I didn’t have to feel guilt about it, or worthless, I just needed to remember that it was all just part of life. Life happens you know. You can’t control it all. So to my word of the night: PERSISTENCE. That is right. Just persisting the best I could at the things that I CAN do. I could do perfect. I was to damn tired and hurt and feeling low. But kept at the things that I could do for that time in my life. I didn’t just give up because I couldn’t be perfect at WW or whatever. So my lesson is that even though life happens, we mess up, things go wrong, and it all seems impossible to get back on track; just keep doing what I CAN do.
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