“You are a Foodie! I am a Foodie! We are Foodies!”
What is my Fat-Loss Leader Lady talking about tonight? Late as usual to my weight-loss meeting and walking in from the far corner (see http://southofmoosejaw.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/being-fat-in-restaurants/ blog) of the parking lot, as far as possible from the meeting room door, the Great Reckoner reported that I had kept the same fat.
Dressed in a leprechaun green getup, tonight’s lesson was about portion size. OMG, but that portion (tiny slice) of cake looks small! That’s the size of cake we are supposed to eat? Can I get my year’s supply all at once? Please? And a serving is one-eighth of a pizza, a medium pizza? Wow! Who can eat only one-eighth of a medium pizza? Why, in my day, I could go through a triple-cheese, double-pepperoni extra-large pizza! Maybe that’s not something I should be proud of, huh?
Oh, I could eat! OMG was my Mom, God rest her soul, a wonderful cook! How did my Dad and Brother stay thin? I certainly did not stay thin. I’m fat like a blimp: from Baby Blimp I merged into Old Fart Blimp! Imagine a blimp, a dirigible, filled with flatulence? OMG! What a blow up that would be! It would fire the sky across a hemisphere!
I thought I had a good weight-loss week. I stumbled only one evening on some raw meat – a chicken leg with thigh in tow plus two pork sweet Italian sausages from the deli shop plus fresh red beef cut into chunks. I tossed them across my barbeque gas grill and let the smoke begin! Ahh, wonderful spring time; wonderful barbeque time! Grilled them, ate them, grilled more – enjoyed the grilled meat with Heinz ketchup and a half-loaf of cheese bread dabbed in butter. What a meal! I sat outdoors enjoying the evening sun and wished I had a cold Amstel Light on tap – no beer in the house. I drank black coffee instead with a fresh-baked lightly-frosted blueberry scone for dessert. I broke lots, if not all, the weight-loss “rules” (guidelines) that night.
So, what’s a “foodie?” I just described it! Foodies like food. Actually, we enjoy food! We take pleasure in planning and preparing and in eating meals!
Why did I pig out? Was I upset? Was I celebrating something with food as the celebrant, as water is a solvent? Was I depressed and trying to drown myself? Was I trying to kill my diabetic self with an overdose of carbohydrates? No; none of that. I just felt like cutting a beef tip roast into chunks and dropping them upon a searing hot grill and enjoying their sizzle! So I did. Is this similar to mountain climbers scaling the peak because its there and they can? Or spelunkers dropping blind into the depths of a cave because it thrills them? Maybe. But maybe it’s just the event itself; no more complicated than that.
It is Week 11 of my weight-loss learning program and for Week 8 and Week 9 and Week 10, for 3 weeks in a row, I have not lost any fat. With regard to Master Smudge’s Statistics lessons (check out our quirky professor at http://southofmoosejaw.wordpress.com/2010/03/05/smudges-stats-001b/), my average weight loss has been easy to calculate: Nil. Nada. Zip. Zero. Makes calculators obsolete; makes students lazy.
Is the world worse off because of us foodies? No; the world is enriched!
I am a Foodie “South of Moose Jaw”
smj
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