You know, I will admit that I’m a very proud person. As far as sins go, that’s probably my biggest one…pride. And when someone wounds my pride, well…that’s just about the deepest cut you can make with me. For the most part, I can brush off a lot of things. But, as with most people, I have my sensitive areas…my size/weight happens to be one of them.
Now, I’m not saying I’m grossly large or anything. But, I grew up skinny…like, REALLY skinny. And when puberty hit, I “bloomed” quite quickly. I was not really ready for the attention I received at that point. So, I allowed myself to gain weight in order to “kill off” some of that attention. Unfortunately, it never worked. To this day, most of the men I run into tend to treat me as some sexual object. (I’m qualifying this with “most” b/c there are a few that actually like me for myself AND happen to find me sexually attractive…I know, shocking, right? haha) And it doesn’t matter how big my ass is, whether I have a tummy or not…they still make it plain that they just want to fuck me. Ok, fine…you think I’m the cat’s pajamas? Great…but don’t knock me for my size AFTER you’ve had a taste, ok? Because that’s just fucked up…
The reason I bring this up is, I took some pics to show a few friends the results of my recent weight loss. One of those friends happened to be the guy I went to England to visit last year. A few of you may remember that whole debacle. Anyway…what really got me was his response…
He wrote to me, “Nice pics. For me, you definitely look better now that you’ve lost weight. Keep going is what I say. I would love to see you having lost more.” Um…really? Wow…So…*shakes head*
I can’t even begin to describe to you what I feel when I read those words. Indignation? Check. Outrage? Check. Disappointment? Check. Sadness? Check. Fury? Check!!! *sigh* This is a man I thought I loved at one point. Someone I was so willing to give my heart to…and he just went and…UGH!!!! Why?!
Why tell me something so utterly stupid! He could’ve just said, “hey, you look great!” and I never would’ve thought twice about it. But no…I look better, huh? You want to see me lose more, eh? Well, guess what? You can eat the peanuts outta my shit, motherfucker…Because I’m going to lose more weight. And when I’m done, and I look fiiiiiiine as fuck, good enough to make you drool? I’m going to tell you to go fuck yourself! Asshole…
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