I think my boobs are bigger.
This is been my Perplexity of the Week. As many of you are aware, I have been exercising like a madwoman these past few weeks to lose my gut and find a butt. I’m not sure if I’m finding a butt, however based on the photos, my stomach is shrinking. Yay!!
When I started working out, I knew I would soon be bidding my breasts adieu. It’s the curse of being a woman, along with PMS, menopause and bad hair days. We lose weight in our boobs first. I’m sad to say it’s an unequivocal, irrefutable, and undeniable fact.
Or so I thought.
On Monday, I wore my favorite dress to work. It’s brown with blue, black and pink weird polka dots, and an awesome V neck that is juuuuuust low enough to be considered almost too scandalous for work. I enjoy this neckline, as I work for a very formal company and apparently have been rebelling against that persona (to the point of getting a visible tattoo and drawing attention to it as much as possible). It emphasizes the bust a little bit, but not too much, y’know?
So there I was, in the bathroom for the millionth time (I drink a lot of water!). As I washed my hands, I looked into the mirror…and down at my now much rounder boobs. I was perplexed. “Where did you come from?!” I asked my reflection, and turned my head slightly to the side. One of the admins came out of a stall and gave me a weird look. “Sorry,” I told her. “I’m just talking to my breasts.”
I’m so confused. They look bigger, at least to me. Maybe they’re just firmer? My bra fits better, but so do the rest of my clothes so that’s not a real benchmark. I have been doing a lot of upper body work with the weights, so maybe my pectoral muscles are finally building up!
I’m single, and have been for a while. I’m usually ok with it. But I do have to say, this is the one time I wish I had a boyfriend to let me know for sure.
This is a good thing, I think. I was really nervous about losing my chest, and even asked Braids if she could do some personal training magic and make me lose weight, just in places not my boobs. She said no.
The fact that I’m getting bigger made me happy. I don’t have much to lose in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not flat chested, but I’m not huge either. (Please refer to the video in yesterday’s post for photographic evidence). I have to pin all my shirts, since apparently American designers believe that anyone size 14 and up automatically carries watermelons in their bras.
So that’s my Perplexity of the Week.
On another note, Braids and I have decided to reassess my goal weight.
My original goal was to get down to 150. This was fine, since I weighed in close to 250. This gave a nice round (ha! Like my belly!) 100lb weight loss. I divided this up into 20lb increments and assigned a goal to each of them. First, I’d treat myself to a massage. After I make it to 210, it’s a day trip to Amish country with a friend. 190 would see a weekend trip to visit the Yankee up New England way. When I get down to 170, Flip and I are wine touring Virginia. Once I got down to my goal weight of 150, I was going sky diving!!
But Braids and I did some talking over email. 150 would make me really, really, really lean. It’s probably not going to be sustainable since I am not an Olympic athlete. I have a life. I have a job. And friends. And a favorite bartender at an Irish pub that’s only a $10 cab ride from my apartment.
I want to be smart about my weight loss. I don’t want to be faced with making it to a perfectly healthy weight, then getting frustrated because I can’t physically get down to the lower weight. I also don’t want to reach 150, then not be able to sustain it, and freak out because I gain 20lbs. That would suck.
So…new goals. I’m gonna make it easy and just take out the massage, and shift everything up. This is convenient, because I’m vacationing at a resort with a very nice spa over Labor Day. I’ve already booked an 80 minute massage and won’t feel a damn bit bad that I haven’t reached the 20lb loss!
The goals are:
230 lbs: Day trip to Amish country with MommyWink
210 lbs: Weekend trip to visit the Yankee in New England
190 lbs: Weekend winery tour with Flip
170 lbs: Skydiving!! (Possibly switched out for awesome Caribbean beach vacation—we’ll see how the finances are.)
As you may have noticed, they’re all weekend trips. Why, you may ask? Well let me tell you.
It took me a while to come up with my rewards in the first place. I even googled ‘weight loss rewards’ in hopes I could plagiarize someone else’s idea, and came up with buttkiss. There were a few message boards with suggestions, but they were all crappy—buy new clothes, treat yourself to a pedicure, let yourself eat a brownie.
That’s all well and good, but frankly, I’m buying new clothes when I back into them. There is nothing in the world that makes me feel worse than clothes that are too big. I feel frumpy and it makes me depressed. I have to get pedicures at least once a month due to an annoyingly freakish, recurring ingrown toenail.
I’m also not going to reward myself with food. I’m allowed dessert once or twice a week, and limiting refined sugar the rest of the time. I’m not going to deprive myself—but I’m not going to make it a habit either.
So…my reward had to be something that was not new clothes, not a pedicure, and not a food item. The only other thing that I could possibly dream of would be vacations.
I love –cations. Vacations, day-cations, stay-cations—call it what you will, but if involves seeing new things with fun people, I’m there. Even if ‘fun people’ is just me. I can buy the most fabulous pair of jeans in the world, but eventually they’re wear out or pass out of style. My friends never will. I will always choose to spend time with them over material items any day of the week. Our memories will never fade. Denim will.
So there. Bigger boobs and a new reward system. Sounds like a great day to me!
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