After five weeks of steady weight loss the ball has stopped rolling downhill and has come to rest yards from the hole. I can see that flag. I am lining up my shot. Will it just take one more putt? One more push to get me to my goal? Or will it be a series of smaller steps that will get me there?
At this morning’s weigh-in I discovered that my weight was UP a half a pound for the week. Let’s look at the bright side. That means 10.5 lbs GONE in 6 weeks!!!!
What have I learned from my experience?
Old habits die hard. I can still remember those wonderful family dinners when I was a child. I remember my aunts and uncles and cousins all gathered around our dining room table. I would help my mother with preparations a week ahead of time. Mama made her own dough and then created the most wonderful breads, rolls and coffee cakes from it. We made chicken soup. It was my job to add the vegetables. We had a big roast turkey, sweet potato pie (often topped with iddy-biddy marshmallows), stuffing, noodle kugel, green beans slathered in margarine, and an array of desserts that was truly overwhelming. My mother served all this with pride and was hurt if anyone rejected what was put in front of them. Her greatest pleasure, I think, was to sit at the table after everyone else was served and survey the faces heartily eating. “What! You don’t like the stuffing?” she might say. “You’ve hardly eaten a bite of it!”
Re-training myself to hold back when food is offered with love is challenging for me. My entire life trained me to show and accept love by eating the food my mother prepared. After a lifetime of equating love and food consumption it is difficult to look at a meal as JUST nutrition for my body.
YET. Times have changed. My parents together with all the aunts and uncles are no longer with us. The cousins are rarely seen. But the feelings persist, even when it is my daughter, not my mother preparing the feast. Learning to look at food from a different perspective requires patience and persistence.
Considering what I would have eaten if I were not on my 20 pound struggle, perhaps I can take comfort in the fact that, despite some overindulgence, I am back on track and have only 9.5 more pounds to lose to meet my goal.
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